found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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