he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
