Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
