you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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