i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize
