so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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