so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
