Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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