Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize