My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
