I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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