i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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