I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
