they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
