It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You were trust falling into bushes
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
