There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
