I saw his package. It spoke to me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The adults are the big ones right?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
