she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
