3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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