PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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