We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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