just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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