took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
