And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
third nipple confirmed
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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