im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
