i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
