they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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