I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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