Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
do herpes really smell.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
