Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
