physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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