I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
