Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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