So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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