You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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