Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
