end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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