If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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