She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
