everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
