do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
