I smell stomach acid.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
