So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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