I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize