Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
