tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
