I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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