she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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