How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize