it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
