mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
