I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Everclear isn't food dammit
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
