There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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