She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
