Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
