doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize