And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize