He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
