you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize