when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
